Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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