hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wish my penis had a tongue
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
