Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
