You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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