Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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