Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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