Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
