Do vagina's smell?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
