another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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