yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Randomize
