I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
