dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
