Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize