i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
