There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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