Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
