Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
