Don't you send me to vm
Can i not drive my cunt home
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My ass is underappreciated
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
