People with herpes should wear stickers.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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