I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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