it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
