I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't deserve a penis
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
