I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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