I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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