I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize