ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
