two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
