I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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