Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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