I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize