I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
