I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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