marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
