Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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