you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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