i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
