I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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