those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
