so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
