Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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