I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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