I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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