You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
