whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
