So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
