Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
