you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
