Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
