Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
