I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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