Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
