If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
