She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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