Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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