Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
