Little spoons don't ask big questions
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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