she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
