i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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