I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
