I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize