As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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