you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
