its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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