At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
only you would photoshop your dick
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize