You can't motorboat a personality
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
