Is it normal to miss your booty call?
420 ftw
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
